It Could Last Forever, But Usually It Lasts About A Month!

You know...I didn't think I'd be sad about saying goodbye to this show.  Tremont has kicked my ass in multiple ways.  During the run I lost my voice completely for a night, I've run into a wall in a dark hallway, chipped a tooth, bruised my knees, slipped in my own drool, cut myself shaving, been punched in the face forcing an eyelash to pop off, lost 8/10 fake nails before deciding to paint my own instead, broke my angel wings during a dance number and danced the rest of the song with the wings dragging on the floor hanging from my neck, lost my mic pack while dancing and shoved it into the front pouch of my thong subsequently forcing my genitals out the side of the thing and then dancing the rest of the number with my dick and balls hanging out, and probably a slew of other things I'm forgetting!

Despite all of these minor disasters this show has been the most fun I've ever had on stage. The last year for me has been all about breaking my typecast, which is usually the sweet romantic lead. I have played a street performing drag queen, a marine with PTSD, a marker sniffing cooking spray huffing road killing lunatic, a variety of WWI soldiers from different ethnic backgrounds, and now a tacky half transsexual; up next I'm playing a thief in Threepenny and an asshole marine in Dogfight!!  It all sure looks great on my résumé.  It's even more fun to do all of these exciting new things...things I have not gotten to do before.  I've discovered that I love playing the villain, the asshole, the clown. In fact, I've excelled at these things!  Tremont has been the most ridiculous comedy role I've played, and certainly the most exciting. I mean, how can one not get excited by the idea of climbing Zak Farmer like a tree while making out with him and exclaiming "Lick my tits" and "All PUSSY"!?!  It's the stuff dreams are made of.  Career defining roles (I hope not!). 

This cast has been incredibly supportive and protective of each other. That's part of why I love New Line so much. We really are a family. We have each other's backs, and only want the best for each other and the show. The creativity of each individual pushes everyone else to deliver their best.  I love these freaks!  So much. 

Anyway, we strike the set tonight after our final show, which is always super weird. You get used to the set being up and don't recognize the empty stage anymore once it's all taken down. It's like a funeral in a way.  I am sad to see this one go, but happy to not have to sing a full octave above my natural range anymore, shave my entire body daily, sunless tan myself, and spend two hours nightly getting into makeup hair and costume.  

The most exciting thing of all is...I CAN DRINK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gave up alcohol, caffeine, and pretty much anything else that's really bad for you for this show. I haven't had anything since New Year's Eve!  I am happy to know that I have the willpower to exercise that kind of self control as needed. I didn't cheat a single time throughout. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my wine and margaritas, so that's a pretty huge achievement.  Tonight I will be drink-striking the show!  

Thank you to Scott, Dowdy and New Line for putting on this ridiculous show and for giving us the opportunity to do something most of us will never get the chance to do again (I mean, how likely is it that Jerry Springer the Opera is ever going to be produced on a regular basis?).  Thank you to Rob for our beautiful set and light design and awesome tech!  Thanks Sarah for your fucking awesomeness...you are superhuman to accomplish all that you have in this show!  Thank you Jeffrey for the outstanding musical direction...we would be lost as hell without you!  Thank you to the awesome sexy band.  Thank you to Gabe and Ben and Alex for being the bad asses you are!  Thank you to the incredible cast.  You guys are all awesome and it's so much fun to share the stage with you every night!

Now...LETS FUCKIN PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

At The End Of The Day I Love You

Our final dress rehearsal was tonight, and while I've been without much of a singing or speaking voice for a few days, I mostly powered through tonight. With the aid of steroids, antibiotics, tea, steam, and "singers saving grace" I feel as though I will make a full recovery before tomorrow's preview (at least enough to get through the show...don't know how pretty it will be).

I've been pulling back vocally for the last couple nights so as to recover a little more quickly.  While doing so I've found a few new points at which I feel really connected to Tremont.  Some of them are very obvious things that I already "knew", but really sunk in this week, tonight in particular.  The moment when Tremont professes his love for Dwight, and realizes that Dwight does not love him back hit me hard tonight.  I think it's part of the human experience to at some point be in love with someone and not have that love reciprocated, and experience that heartache.  Nothing hurts worse, in fact (been there, done that...several times).  Also, what does that rejection mean for Tremont in that moment?  "I'm not good enough." "He doesn't think I'm normal." "He hates me." "I'll never be happy/find love." "My life isn't turning out how I thought it would."  Perhaps Dwight had promised Tremont he'd help pay for his reassignment surgery.  Imagine THAT kind of shock when not only does Dwight not love Tremont, but he also has no intention of seeing her through her transition.  Tremont has no doubt had a tough uphill clawing through life (in stilettos), and only knows how to fight back, but is left speechless when Dwight rejects him.  (I know I'm using him/her ingerchangably in regards to Tremont. It is on purpose, as Tremont declares his physical manhood proudly (on the surface anyway), but mentally identifies as a female.  I think for Tremont, in that moment of rejection, her entire world falls apart.  She would never want anyone to see that, of course, but it's happening inside, and soon after leads to her botched suicide attempt/smothering. 

Anyway...that went on longer than I intended. I mean to say that I understand the heartbreak there. Tremont just wants love and happiness like everyone else in the world.  

I could ramble on further, but I'm utterly exhausted, and my NyQuil is kicking in. 

This show terrified me when we started. I adore it now. I understand the deeper meaning in it. My only hope is that our audiences can look past the surface crassness and absurdity and see the love and acceptance underneath. 

To my cast mates and the creative team and band, I love you all, and I am honored to get to work with such talented, creative, zany freaks.  

We open tomorrow!!  Come and see...Jerry, Jerry!