Saturday, March 28, 2015

It Could Last Forever, But Usually It Lasts About A Month!

You know...I didn't think I'd be sad about saying goodbye to this show.  Tremont has kicked my ass in multiple ways.  During the run I lost my voice completely for a night, I've run into a wall in a dark hallway, chipped a tooth, bruised my knees, slipped in my own drool, cut myself shaving, been punched in the face forcing an eyelash to pop off, lost 8/10 fake nails before deciding to paint my own instead, broke my angel wings during a dance number and danced the rest of the song with the wings dragging on the floor hanging from my neck, lost my mic pack while dancing and shoved it into the front pouch of my thong subsequently forcing my genitals out the side of the thing and then dancing the rest of the number with my dick and balls hanging out, and probably a slew of other things I'm forgetting!
Despite all of these minor disasters this show has been the most fun I've ever had on stage. The last year for me has been all about breaking my typecast, which is usually the sweet romantic lead. I have played a street performing drag queen, a marine with PTSD, a marker sniffing cooking spray huffing road killing lunatic, a variety of WWI soldiers from different ethnic backgrounds, and now a tacky half transsexual; up next I'm playing a thief in Threepenny and an asshole marine in Dogfight!!  It all sure looks great on my résumé.  It's even more fun to do all of these exciting new things...things I have not gotten to do before.  I've discovered that I love playing the villain, the asshole, the clown. In fact, I've excelled at these things!  Tremont has been the most ridiculous comedy role I've played, and certainly the most exciting. I mean, how can one not get excited by the idea of climbing Zak Farmer like a tree while making out with him and exclaiming "Lick my tits" and "All PUSSY"!?!  It's the stuff dreams are made of.  Career defining roles (I hope not!). 
This cast has been incredibly supportive and protective of each other. That's part of why I love New Line so much. We really are a family. We have each other's backs, and only want the best for each other and the show. The creativity of each individual pushes everyone else to deliver their best.  I love these freaks!  So much. 
Anyway, we strike the set tonight after our final show, which is always super weird. You get used to the set being up and don't recognize the empty stage anymore once it's all taken down. It's like a funeral in a way.  I am sad to see this one go, but happy to not have to sing a full octave above my natural range anymore, shave my entire body daily, sunless tan myself, and spend two hours nightly getting into makeup hair and costume.  
The most exciting thing of all is...I CAN DRINK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gave up alcohol, caffeine, and pretty much anything else that's really bad for you for this show. I haven't had anything since New Year's Eve!  I am happy to know that I have the willpower to exercise that kind of self control as needed. I didn't cheat a single time throughout. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my wine and margaritas, so that's a pretty huge achievement.  Tonight I will be drink-striking the show!  
Thank you to Scott, Dowdy and New Line for putting on this ridiculous show and for giving us the opportunity to do something most of us will never get the chance to do again (I mean, how likely is it that Jerry Springer the Opera is ever going to be produced on a regular basis?).  Thank you to Rob for our beautiful set and light design and awesome tech!  Thanks Sarah for your fucking are superhuman to accomplish all that you have in this show!  Thank you Jeffrey for the outstanding musical direction...we would be lost as hell without you!  Thank you to the awesome sexy band.  Thank you to Gabe and Ben and Alex for being the bad asses you are!  Thank you to the incredible cast.  You guys are all awesome and it's so much fun to share the stage with you every night!
Now...LETS FUCKIN PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

At The End Of The Day I Love You

Our final dress rehearsal was tonight, and while I've been without much of a singing or speaking voice for a few days, I mostly powered through tonight. With the aid of steroids, antibiotics, tea, steam, and "singers saving grace" I feel as though I will make a full recovery before tomorrow's preview (at least enough to get through the show...don't know how pretty it will be).
I've been pulling back vocally for the last couple nights so as to recover a little more quickly.  While doing so I've found a few new points at which I feel really connected to Tremont.  Some of them are very obvious things that I already "knew", but really sunk in this week, tonight in particular.  The moment when Tremont professes his love for Dwight, and realizes that Dwight does not love him back hit me hard tonight.  I think it's part of the human experience to at some point be in love with someone and not have that love reciprocated, and experience that heartache.  Nothing hurts worse, in fact (been there, done that...several times).  Also, what does that rejection mean for Tremont in that moment?  "I'm not good enough." "He doesn't think I'm normal." "He hates me." "I'll never be happy/find love." "My life isn't turning out how I thought it would."  Perhaps Dwight had promised Tremont he'd help pay for his reassignment surgery.  Imagine THAT kind of shock when not only does Dwight not love Tremont, but he also has no intention of seeing her through her transition.  Tremont has no doubt had a tough uphill clawing through life (in stilettos), and only knows how to fight back, but is left speechless when Dwight rejects him.  (I know I'm using him/her ingerchangably in regards to Tremont. It is on purpose, as Tremont declares his physical manhood proudly (on the surface anyway), but mentally identifies as a female.  I think for Tremont, in that moment of rejection, her entire world falls apart.  She would never want anyone to see that, of course, but it's happening inside, and soon after leads to her botched suicide attempt/smothering. 
Anyway...that went on longer than I intended. I mean to say that I understand the heartbreak there. Tremont just wants love and happiness like everyone else in the world.  
I could ramble on further, but I'm utterly exhausted, and my NyQuil is kicking in. 
This show terrified me when we started. I adore it now. I understand the deeper meaning in it. My only hope is that our audiences can look past the surface crassness and absurdity and see the love and acceptance underneath. 

To my cast mates and the creative team and band, I love you all, and I am honored to get to work with such talented, creative, zany freaks.  

We open tomorrow!!  Come and see...Jerry, Jerry!

Thursday, February 26, 2015


Tonight is my favorite part of the rehearsal process.  Part one anyway.  We are splitting our stizprobe over two nights because there is so much music in this show.  It's always so exciting and thrilling and awesome to finally sing with the band and get the full picture of what the show is supposed to sound like.  So we do act one tonight, then Saturday we get to have our cue-to-cue, which with Rob Lippert is just a normal run with lights and tech and fun awesomeness; then Sunday we have our act two stizprobe, and go right into tech after!  I think we are all more than ready to really run the show and get it in front of a crowd!!  :)

Saturday, February 21, 2015


Well, the show is fully blocked, and we've got a few full runs under our belts.  The set is up and is beautiful (I can't wait to see it with lights).  Publicity photos are done, most of the costumes are done. We are 90% off book.  Things are really coming together, characters are emerging, and we are in great shape for having a week and a half to go before we open.  Also, I had my first make-out sesh with Zak Farmer on Thursday night, and it was quite aggressive.  If there's one moment of true shock value in the show, that's it!  All I can say better fucking prepare yourselves...and wear depends!
We are at the point where the stress starts to subside, and rehearsals get really fun because we are all exploring and experimenting with various character choices.  There's a lot of great material to play with in this show too.  I just can't wait to get in front of an audience and finally be able to gauge how people are going to respond.  Each new character I've played in the last year has been exponentially more crazy than the last, and it's really fun to get to break my typecast and show folks that I can do other things.
Anyway, here are the publicity photos.  I'm the one in the leopard print mini dress!

Friday, February 13, 2015

Lose The Facial Hair And You Might Find A Pimp!

Not a whole lot to say, but we have the entire show blocked!  Our set goes up this weekend, and starting Monday we will be running the show on set, off book (for the most part).  Fortunately, the music is getting easier now that we all know what it's supposed to sound like.  I am about 75% off book at this point, so I'm not too terribly worried.  I'm excited to get the scripts out of our hands and see what kind of character choices everyone makes.
In other news, our promo photo shoot is next Tuesday, so it looks as though this hairy guy has a long weekend of waxing ahead of him.  Don't worry, I did it for Rent last year and it wasn't so bad...but then again, I was drunk!

Monday, January 26, 2015

My Advice to You Bitch, Get a Face Peel!

Meet Tremont!!
Not really though, you idiots!

This is a very stoned-looking picture of me in my unstyled Tremont "tacky-St. -Charles-soccer-mom-can-I-talk-to-the-manager" wig, aka "The Kate Gosselin".  I like red!  It'll take more than a face peel to get me looking like a lady...more like a few razors, some wax, and several pounds of makeup.  I do get to wear a pretty awesome dress though...really shows off my ASSets!

We are having our first sing through of the entire show tonight before we begin blocking tomorrow.  I am a lot more comfortable with the music now that we have learned it, and I can go back to the recording now to help me put it all together.  I have yet to see how well my vocal chords will fare after having sung through the entire show. 

Seriously though...this stuff is physically exhausting to sing.  Probably even when I'm not on the tail end of a head/chest cold. Blah blah blah, anyway I'm excited to hear the whole thing tonight and to get this shit blocked and memorized so I can get the script out of my hands and get my hands on that Zak Farmer guy (and anyone else who wants to be felt up by a half tranny)!

In other news I was invited to do The Threepenny Opera with New Line next, this time back to playing a straight character. I wanted to be one of the whores but the other whores were just too good at whoring!

The end.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Jerk Till I Bleed

This pretty much sums up how I think most of us feel when looking at the Jerry Springer score!  This shit is insane.  Without a doubt the most difficult music I have ever read or sung in my life.  I keep hearing that opera is easier to memorize than traditional theatre music, but that statement has yet to be proven true.  We are almost through the learning of the music, and for the most part I still have no fucking clue what I'm doing.  The solo stuff is easy.  Picking your part out of a 6-part dissonant chord with competing melody and harmony lines on top is no easy task.  I've pretty much been coming home from rehearsals and, as best as I can, plunking out my parts on the keyboard so I know what I'm actually supposed to sing.  Did I mention that I have taken one music theory class in my life, over a decade ago, and I never learned to properly sight read?  I even took piano lessons for nine years as a kid, but always tricked my teacher into playing the songs for me first so I knew what they were supposed to sound like, and then I learned them by ear.  I'm actually pretty efficient at that now, but I wish I had payed more attention in lessons.  Furthermore, most of the tenor parts are written in bass clef, which I really REALLY can't read for shit.  I literally have to count the lines up or down to know what the next note is, whereas on the treble clef (where tenor parts are usually written) I know what the notes are just by looking at them.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic (imagine that from a theatre person).  I know I will get it though.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to music, and refuse to let myself be the weak link.  It's just a bit daunting is all!  This show is definitely going to require me practicing every single day, not only to get the notes right, but to sing in the incredibly high range that my role requires.  Luckily, I have an awesome voice teacher, who I know will guide me through this music without allowing me to wreck my voice in the process.

On the up-side...I got to try on my wig the other night.  All I can say is #tackystcharlessoccermomrealness   I am extremely excited for this show.  It is unlike anything I have ever done before, and will be a great learning experience.   The profanity is palpable, and as one could expect, this show is FILLED with fun little ear-worms, many of which I get to sing myself.  I shall leave you with a new favorite line of my own!

Sunday, January 11, 2015


So I discovered upon looking at our rehearsal schedule that not only do I get to play a "chick with a dick" and an Archangel, I also get to be a dancing Ku Klux Klan (KKK) member in the show!  These are certainly some of the more interesting roles I will have added to my resume...EVER!  That's all!  Just thought it was funny and that I'd share so that those of you who come see the show have a small taste of what you're getting yourself into!
Excited to be back in rehearsals tomorrow.  I've only had one so far, in which we covered my Tremont stuff.  Hell, I'd sit through rehearsals I'm not even called to just to hear how ridiculous and hilarious this material is, but I'm sure I will get my fill before the end of the run!

Monday, January 5, 2015

It wasn't me, it was the smack!!

I had a major breakthrough my car...on my way to lions choice...

After drilling my songs into my head for most of the day yesterday, and getting more comfortable with how the music is supposed to sound, I decided to sing along on my way to lunch today.  No warmup or anything, and I DID IT!!! I hit the fucking note, and I hit it good!  I hit it multiple times. I actually sang the whole song without any issues.  I'm kind of stunned.  Who knows if it'll come out of me again when I need to sing it tonight at our first rehearsal, but at least I know I can hit it now!  I have a base to work off of, and it can only get stronger!  Yay me!!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fucking fucking fuck?!

Today has been a combo-platter of drilling this insane music into my brain, and character research!  I've spent about six hours so far today listening to my songs on repeat while looking at my score, trying to wrap my head around it!  Furthermore, researching pre-operative transsexuals as character research yields some really interesting/questionable results.  Really I was just looking for baseline of how I want Tremont to look (ugly/pretty, butch/fem, etc.).  Hoping to find some literature on te subject, I googled "transsexuals".  I clearly did not think that one through... Let's just say that the results were not exactly the kind of material I was looking for.  I did, however, come up with a few new sexy-time poses I shall surprise my significant other with at an opportunely hilarious time...
I refined my search to "tranny makeup" (which was a lot more clean than my previous search *clears browser history*) to research the difference between drag makeup and transgender makeup.  I've got some interesting ideas forming.  I do not want Tremont to resemble my 'Angel' from Rent, though even Angel was a scaled down, more natural drag makeup; daytime drag, as they call it.  I think Tremont should definitely be passabe as a woman, minus the one big tell.  The declaration "I'm a man" as Tremont enters the stage would not work if the audience was thinking "well DUH" when I say it, nor would Dwight be entangled in my alluring tranny magic.  (For the record, I know the term "tranny" is not P.C., but we are doing Jerry Springer here!)
Anyway, we start rehearsals tomorrow. I'm a bit more familiar with the music, but I'm still terrified of that fucking high-ass music, or ass-music as I may be able to fart at a higher pitch than I am able to sing.  I've managed to squeak out the note a few times here and there, but I don't have it consistently there yet!  I don't expect it to be beautiful, I just want the sound to come out in a healthy way without muscling through it!  
That's where I'm at right now. Still doing my siren sounds everywhere I go to keep that shit warmed up.  I am really excited to start rehearsing and hear everyone together.  This material is hysterical.  This show is going to be crazy.  That is all for now.