My Advice to You Bitch, Get a Face Peel!

Meet Tremont!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Not really though, you idiots!

This is a very stoned-looking picture of me in my unstyled Tremont "tacky-St. -Charles-soccer-mom-can-I-talk-to-the-manager" wig, aka "The Kate Gosselin".  I like red!  It'll take more than a face peel to get me looking like a lady...more like a few razors, some wax, and several pounds of makeup.  I do get to wear a pretty awesome dress though...really shows off my ASSets!

We are having our first sing through of the entire show tonight before we begin blocking tomorrow.  I am a lot more comfortable with the music now that we have learned it, and I can go back to the recording now to help me put it all together.  I have yet to see how well my vocal chords will fare after having sung through the entire show. 

Seriously though...this stuff is physically exhausting to sing.  Probably even when I'm not on the tail end of a head/chest cold. Blah blah blah, anyway I'm excited to hear the whole thing tonight and to get this shit blocked and memorized so I can get the script out of my hands and get my hands on that Zak Farmer guy (and anyone else who wants to be felt up by a half tranny)!

In other news I was invited to do The Threepenny Opera with New Line next, this time back to playing a straight character. I wanted to be one of the whores but the other whores were just too good at whoring!

The end.

Jerk Till I Bleed

This pretty much sums up how I think most of us feel when looking at the Jerry Springer score!  This shit is insane.  Without a doubt the most difficult music I have ever read or sung in my life.  I keep hearing that opera is easier to memorize than traditional theatre music, but that statement has yet to be proven true.  We are almost through the learning of the music, and for the most part I still have no fucking clue what I'm doing.  The solo stuff is easy.  Picking your part out of a 6-part dissonant chord with competing melody and harmony lines on top is no easy task.  I've pretty much been coming home from rehearsals and, as best as I can, plunking out my parts on the keyboard so I know what I'm actually supposed to sing.  Did I mention that I have taken one music theory class in my life, over a decade ago, and I never learned to properly sight read?  I even took piano lessons for nine years as a kid, but always tricked my teacher into playing the songs for me first so I knew what they were supposed to sound like, and then I learned them by ear.  I'm actually pretty efficient at that now, but I wish I had payed more attention in lessons.  Furthermore, most of the tenor parts are written in bass clef, which I really REALLY can't read for shit.  I literally have to count the lines up or down to know what the next note is, whereas on the treble clef (where tenor parts are usually written) I know what the notes are just by looking at them.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic (imagine that from a theatre person).  I know I will get it though.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to music, and refuse to let myself be the weak link.  It's just a bit daunting is all!  This show is definitely going to require me practicing every single day, not only to get the notes right, but to sing in the incredibly high range that my role requires.  Luckily, I have an awesome voice teacher, who I know will guide me through this music without allowing me to wreck my voice in the process.

On the up-side...I got to try on my wig the other night.  All I can say is #tackystcharlessoccermomrealness   I am extremely excited for this show.  It is unlike anything I have ever done before, and will be a great learning experience.   The profanity is palpable, and as one could expect, this show is FILLED with fun little ear-worms, many of which I get to sing myself.  I shall leave you with a new favorite line of my own!

BONUS ROLE!

So I discovered upon looking at our rehearsal schedule that not only do I get to play a "chick with a dick" and an Archangel, I also get to be a dancing Ku Klux Klan (KKK) member in the show!  These are certainly some of the more interesting roles I will have added to my resume...EVER!  That's all!  Just thought it was funny and that I'd share so that those of you who come see the show have a small taste of what you're getting yourself into!
Excited to be back in rehearsals tomorrow.  I've only had one so far, in which we covered my Tremont stuff.  Hell, I'd sit through rehearsals I'm not even called to just to hear how ridiculous and hilarious this material is, but I'm sure I will get my fill before the end of the run!

It wasn't me, it was the smack!!

I had a major breakthrough today...in my car...on my way to lions choice...

After drilling my songs into my head for most of the day yesterday, and getting more comfortable with how the music is supposed to sound, I decided to sing along on my way to lunch today.  No warmup or anything, and I DID IT!!! I hit the fucking note, and I hit it good!  I hit it multiple times. I actually sang the whole song without any issues.  I'm kind of stunned.  Who knows if it'll come out of me again when I need to sing it tonight at our first rehearsal, but at least I know I can hit it now!  I have a base to work off of, and it can only get stronger!  Yay me!!

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fucking fucking fuck?!

Today has been a combo-platter of drilling this insane music into my brain, and character research!  I've spent about six hours so far today listening to my songs on repeat while looking at my score, trying to wrap my head around it!  Furthermore, researching pre-operative transsexuals as character research yields some really interesting/questionable results.  Really I was just looking for baseline of how I want Tremont to look (ugly/pretty, butch/fem, etc.).  Hoping to find some literature on te subject, I googled "transsexuals".  I clearly did not think that one through... Let's just say that the results were not exactly the kind of material I was looking for.  I did, however, come up with a few new sexy-time poses I shall surprise my significant other with at an opportunely hilarious time...

I refined my search to "tranny makeup" (which was a lot more clean than my previous search *clears browser history*) to research the difference between drag makeup and transgender makeup.  I've got some interesting ideas forming.  I do not want Tremont to resemble my 'Angel' from Rent, though even Angel was a scaled down, more natural drag makeup; daytime drag, as they call it.  I think Tremont should definitely be passabe as a woman, minus the one big tell.  The declaration "I'm a man" as Tremont enters the stage would not work if the audience was thinking "well DUH" when I say it, nor would Dwight be entangled in my alluring tranny magic.  (For the record, I know the term "tranny" is not P.C., but we are doing Jerry Springer here!)

Anyway, we start rehearsals tomorrow. I'm a bit more familiar with the music, but I'm still terrified of that fucking high-ass music, or ass-music as I may be able to fart at a higher pitch than I am able to sing.  I've managed to squeak out the note a few times here and there, but I don't have it consistently there yet!  I don't expect it to be beautiful, I just want the sound to come out in a healthy way without muscling through it!  

That's where I'm at right now. Still doing my siren sounds everywhere I go to keep that shit warmed up.  I am really excited to start rehearsing and hear everyone together.  This material is hysterical.  This show is going to be crazy.  That is all for now.